Saturday, November 2, 2019

LA Fitness Chatsworth Location Really, Really, REALLY Closing for Renovation This Time, Seriously

By Blythe Moorcraft, Quilt staff

DATELINE: DE SOTO AVENUE

LA Fitness’ Chatsworth location is really closing for renovations this time, seriously, says corporate spokestrainer Shepherd Wolfe.  “Listen, we’re seriously closing on Sunday, I swear. We’re not kidding this time. If you think we’re kidding, well, we’re not. I promise," insists Wolfe. "‘Cause after Sunday, you’ll have to go work out somewhere else until June nineteenth of next year, when we’ll reopen.”

Industry experts predict that given LA Fitness’s track record for keeping to a renovation timetable, the updated gym — if it actually does close on Sunday — should be back open for business sometime in August of 2037.

The Chatsworth fitness center, popular with cranky retirees, reprobates, people with poor hygiene who don't wipe down machines, and the socially awkward — at least according to Yelp Reviews — previously threatened to close for renovations in 2018, 2016, 2015, 2013, 2012, and 2009. Each time, mitigating circumstances prevented much ballyhooed planned upgrades from moving forward at the last minute, much to the chagrin of members who joined the gym in 2009, 2012, 2013, 2015, 2016 and 2018 specifically on the promise of impending upgrades.

“No, this time, we’re serious. Really,” notes on-site facility manager Susan Elliott.  “Frankly, at this point, we have no choice. Members have been looting the weight room of all the Iron Grip 25-, 35-, and 45-pound plates for the past month and a half. There’s practically nothing left in there."

Related -  Editorial: Maybe if LA Fitness Actually Enforced Their Fucking Rule About No Fucking Gym Bags In Workout Areas, Thieving Douchebags Wouldn’t Be Stealing All Their Fucking Equipment

60 comments:

  1. Thank you for taking the time to publish this information very useful! perdita di acqua dal pavimento

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kevin, you fat fuck, how dare you spam this site with your comments, especially since you've never once wobbled into a gym yourself. You post here again and I'm going to kick your roly-poly ass up and down Topanga Canyon Boulevard. And I can do it, too — I've been working out!

      Delete
  2. Thanks for taking the time to discuss this, I feel strongly that love and read more on this topic. If possible, such as gain knowledge, would you mind updating your blog with additional information? It is very useful for me. palmsbet

    ReplyDelete
  3. This iron ball will certainly forge your body into the fit tough machine you need it to be when hanging on for dear life on that secluded mountainside. home climber machine

    ReplyDelete
  4. It was a very good post indeed. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it in my lunch time. Will surely come and visit this blog more often. Thanks for sharing. betson10

    ReplyDelete
  5. I’d should consult you here. Which is not some thing I do! I like reading an article that should get people to think. Also, thank you for permitting me to comment! Dispensary

    ReplyDelete
  6. Natasha Aughey Fitness Trainer Workout Wiki, Bio, Age, Height and little known facts.
    Get inspired by Natasha Aughey's fitness routine and workout Natasha Aughey

    ReplyDelete
  7. Achetez des stéroïdes naturels pour sculpter votre corps, bruler vos graisses, gagner du muscle, vous trouverez le complement alimentaire qui vous convient. clenbuterol

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really like your take on the issue. I now have a clear idea on what this matter is all about.. studio de personal trainer asa sul

    ReplyDelete
  9. There exists no solid guide for Wellbeing and Fitness Experts to gauge "Actual Fitness", in light of the fact that the term has been so freely and conflictingly characterized. how often to use cbd oil

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is an awesome motivating article.I am practically satisfied with your great work.You put truly extremely supportive data. Keep it up. Continue blogging. Hoping to perusing your next post why is natural toothpaste better

    ReplyDelete
  11. I really enjoy simply reading all of your weblogs. Simply wanted to inform you that you have people like me who appreciate your work. Definitely a great post. Hats off to you! The information that you have provided is very helpful. how long after wisdom teeth removal can i eat a burger

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks For sharing this Superb article.I use this Article to show my assignment in college.it is useful For me Great Work. best website designing company in noida

    ReplyDelete
  13. This article is the truth about fitness. People are mislead and this article shows the real truth about fitness. Learn Belly Dancing Online

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow! This could be one of the most useful blogs we have ever come across on thesubject. Actually excellent info! I’m also an expert in this topic so I can understand your effort. oil cartridges for sale

    ReplyDelete
  15. This article was written by a real thinking writer without a doubt. I agree many of the with the solid points made by the writer. I’ll be back day in and day for further new updates. buy real weed online cheap

    ReplyDelete
  16. Excellent website! I adore how it is easy on my eyes it is. I am questioning how I might be notified whenever a new post has been made. Looking for more new updates. Have a great day! thc vape juice discreet shipping usa

    ReplyDelete
  17. This definitely seems to be similar to without doubt amazing. Every one of these minimal things are created by making use of amount of groundwork recognition. I quite like these people noticeably. piccosalesbud legit

    ReplyDelete
  18. Electrical power dissertation web-sites on-line when you likewise be given clearly advertised with your web page. Weed For Sale

    ReplyDelete
  19. It feels entirely appropriate. Every one of smaller aspects were created through many record education. I really like the application plenty vape pen cartridges wholesale

    ReplyDelete
  20. This is the reason marketing promotions campaigns so that you can useful investigate earlier than posting. It will be easier to put in writing more effective place like this. Buy Marijuana Online

    ReplyDelete
  21. Which is moreover an excellent distribute that we in fact treasured researching. It is not daily that individuals keep the chance to learn a very important factor. 420 Store 4 All

    ReplyDelete
  22. This is promoting special offers activities to help you valuable take a look at prior to putting up. Put simply to put in writing more potent position this way. 100 thc cartridge

    ReplyDelete
  23. Im no expert, but I believe you just made an excellent point. You certainly fully understand what youre speaking about, and I can truly get behind that. pound of kush

    ReplyDelete
  24. This was a really great contest and hopefully I can attend the next one. It was alot of fun and I really enjoyed myself.. Green House Weed Store

    ReplyDelete
  25. Easily this fabulous website may perhaps irrefutably be well-known within many blog persons, a result of the conscientious articles or reviews or perhaps opinions. legit weed supply

    ReplyDelete
  26. Quickly this particular excellent website will definitely irrefutably continually be famous among the majority of composing the weblog women and men, simply because persistent content material in addition to recommendations. thc cartridge us shipping

    ReplyDelete
  27. This is very educational content and written well for a change. It's nice to see that some people still understand how to write a quality post.! scannable fake id

    ReplyDelete
  28. Great post but I was wondering if you could write a little more on this subject? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Thanks in advance! Silk road economic belt

    ReplyDelete
  29. This approach is visually really most suitable. Every single one of microscopic highlights are intended by means of a number of heritage skills. I recommend the software quite a lot glasspipe wholesale

    ReplyDelete
  30. After many years of exercise experience, I have found that it's easiest to create a blueprint. Here is my simple 6-step to success training you can start using today, for implementing and achieving your workout plans

    ReplyDelete
  31. Our the purpose is to share the reviews about the latest Jackets,Coats and Vests also share the related Movies,Gaming, Casual,Faux Leather and Leather materials available Rogue Company Jacket

    ReplyDelete
  32. On the off chance that you are anticipating in general wellbeing, at that point you must realize that wellness is the quintessence of it. https://twoguysthoughts.com

    ReplyDelete
  33. Thank you because you have been willing to share information with us. we will always appreciate all you have done here because I know you are very concerned with our. uk healthcare

    ReplyDelete
  34. it is indispensable for administrations area to give comfort to clients, and it is vital for monetary area for proficient correspondence joins. Accordingly, business location is indispensable for each area of current economy. Geographical Places

    ReplyDelete
  35. This is a great article thanks for sharing this informative information. I will visit your blog regularly for some latest post. I will visit your blog regularly for Some latest post. skipping rope

    ReplyDelete
  36. They were completely fit. Along these lines, there was no compelling reason to discuss fitness. Stories

    ReplyDelete
  37. Nice Blog !
    Here We are Specialist in Manufacturing of Movies, Gaming, Casual, Faux Leather Jackets, Coats And Vests See Scarface Jacket

    ReplyDelete
  38. Superior post, keep up with this exceptional work. It's nice to know that this topic is being also covered on this web site so cheers for taking the time to discuss this! Thanks again and again! Testonyl Bewertungen

    ReplyDelete
  39. I like the helpful info you provide in this blog page.... LA fitness centre for its Renovation... https://geekshealth.com/sonus-complete-reviews

    ReplyDelete
  40. This is a great inspiring article.I am pretty much pleased with your good work.You put really very helpful information. Keep it up. Keep blogging. Looking to reading your next post. ลู่วิ่งไฟฟ้า

    ReplyDelete
  41. Making sure that fitness fits in your budget is an important part of finding the right candidate. View multiple specials, sales, discounts and unique offers for each fitness professional underneath their in depth profile. If you don't see it listed make sure to ask! Many personal trainers, yoga instructors and Pilates instructors offer their own exclusive deals in addition to many of these listed below. Keto diet

    ReplyDelete
  42. Why is there a video response of a baby with harlequin ichtyosis,,,how to order weed online

    ReplyDelete
  43. If you like to maintain a good health, you should take Keto diet. No side effect of this Keto diet.

    ReplyDelete
  44. There are so many exercise bicycles accessible that it's not difficult to be overpowered. Turning bicycles, fixed bicycles, double activity bicycles, and supine bicycles are most likely a portion of the terms you've heard. It's nearly like you must be a wellness gear architect to comprehend the distinctions! Here's a speedy rundown of these confounding terms.www.botigacatedralbarcelona.com

    ReplyDelete
  45. Lamentably, references to these and other fitness-related terms are frequently ambiguous, while consistency in their planned use is small, best case scenario, there is a sort of "by and large acknowledged" use for them, however people regularly depend on own understanding, and this can prompt disarray. magnesium l-threonate reddit

    ReplyDelete
  46. Exceptionally valuable information. Want to see more posts soon!. when was the odyssey written

    ReplyDelete
  47. Okinawa Flat Belly Tonic boosts your base metabolic rate so you can burn fat all day long.. Makes you slimmer day by day, lose you over weight. To experience the maximum health benefits, science tells us taking the ingredients in the Okinawa Flat Belly Tonic for 3 to 6 months. 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed.

    ReplyDelete
  48. If you like to maintain a good health, you should take Keto diet. No side effect of this Keto diet.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Get fit short the unneeded joint agony by utilizing a treadmill. The treadmill offers a low-sway cardio practice which secures your joints and is a most loved action for people who wish an astounding cardio exercise without a ton of beating on the joints.best treadmill

    ReplyDelete
  50. I recently found many useful information in your website especially this blog page. Among the lots of comments on your articles. Thanks for sharing. Health

    ReplyDelete
  51. So, does Health Related Fitness just induce fitness by methods for great wellbeing? Not exactly. That is the reason we need to comprehend somewhat more behind these words prior to processing the definition. nicotinamide riboside chloride powder

    ReplyDelete
  52. It was not first article by this author as I always found him as a talented author. Usmle Step 2

    ReplyDelete
  53. Thanks for the blog loaded with so many information. Stopping by your blog helped me to get what I was looking for. Exercise bikes

    ReplyDelete
  54. Your music is astounding. You have some extremely capable specialists. I wish you the best of accomplishment.lingerie sleeepwear

    ReplyDelete
  55. Wonderful article. Fascinating to read. I love to read such an excellent article. Thanks! It has made my task more and extra easy. Keep rocking. https://goytd.com/

    ReplyDelete
  56. the company is to be the goto provider of AI-powered digital experiences particularly in hybrid formats. event marketing and thank you for meeting with me email examples

    ReplyDelete
  57. A sure hit! Very informative! All the lessons in the course was taught properly. I can’t wait to use the knowledge I got in naming my business. how to take cbd tincture

    ReplyDelete
  58. I definitely enjoying every little bit of it. It is a great website and nice share. I want to thank you. Good job! You guys do a great blog, and have some great contents. Keep up the good work. cheap essay writing service

    ReplyDelete