Saturday, November 2, 2019

LA Fitness Chatsworth Location Really, Really, REALLY Closing for Renovation This Time, Seriously

By Blythe Moorcraft, Quilt staff

DATELINE: DE SOTO AVENUE

LA Fitness’ Chatsworth location is really closing for renovations this time, seriously, says corporate spokestrainer Shepherd Wolfe.  “Listen, we’re seriously closing on Sunday, I swear. We’re not kidding this time. If you think we’re kidding, well, we’re not. I promise," insists Wolfe. "‘Cause after Sunday, you’ll have to go work out somewhere else until June nineteenth of next year, when we’ll reopen.”

Industry experts predict that given LA Fitness’s track record for keeping to a renovation timetable, the updated gym — if it actually does close on Sunday — should be back open for business sometime in August of 2037.

The Chatsworth fitness center, popular with cranky retirees, reprobates, people with poor hygiene who don't wipe down machines, and the socially awkward — at least according to Yelp Reviews — previously threatened to close for renovations in 2018, 2016, 2015, 2013, 2012, and 2009. Each time, mitigating circumstances prevented much ballyhooed planned upgrades from moving forward at the last minute, much to the chagrin of members who joined the gym in 2009, 2012, 2013, 2015, 2016 and 2018 specifically on the promise of impending upgrades.

“No, this time, we’re serious. Really,” notes on-site facility manager Susan Elliott.  “Frankly, at this point, we have no choice. Members have been looting the weight room of all the Iron Grip 25-, 35-, and 45-pound plates for the past month and a half. There’s practically nothing left in there."

Related -  Editorial: Maybe if LA Fitness Actually Enforced Their Fucking Rule About No Fucking Gym Bags In Workout Areas, Thieving Douchebags Wouldn’t Be Stealing All Their Fucking Equipment

37 comments:

  1. Yay google is my world beater aided me to find this outstanding site! . https://royalcbd.com/product/cbd-capsules-25mg/

    ReplyDelete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You don’t necessarily have to torture yourself with strict diet plans and tiresome exercises in order to achieve that perfect look you’ve been dreaming of. You should instead consider wearing a body shaper as it won’t expose you to any physical danger whatsoever while still being an effective way of acquiring your ideal body.Check the product Here fitness magazine

    ReplyDelete
  4. Using CBD oil to help build muscle could provide a far more natural treatment option for you without any of the negative side effects associated with the use of hormones. https://www.weednews.co/best-cbd-oil/

    ReplyDelete
  5. During the massage meet, be set up to discuss what you realized in school, what your most grounded and most fragile modalities are, what you imagine for yourself as a massage specialist, and about your past involvement in customers. Erotische massage

    ReplyDelete
  6. This fun and challenging exercise board is suggested for those with moderate to expert level athleticism. Snowboarders, skaters, and surfers alike are sure to appreciate a gift that will not only increase their skills on the mountain, street, or ocean, but allow them to train through the off seasons and never lose their game. balance board exercises

    ReplyDelete
  7. The White contributes a dense coating of frosty trichomes while Orange Blossom Trail adds notes of tart citrus to this sumptuous hybrid strain. Find Silver PearlOh no! This strain in flower is not available within 20 miles of your location https://nobullshitseeds.com/banana-kush-seeds/

    ReplyDelete
  8. This article reveals the "Shocking" truth about Rapid Weight Loss Diets. Learn once and for all if these weight loss diets are Helpful or if they do more harm than good. poids ideal

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you because you have been willing to share information with us. we will always appreciate all you have done here because I know you are very concerned with our. clenbuterol France

    ReplyDelete
  10. Cool you inscribe, the info is really salubrious further fascinating, I'll give you a connect to my scene. b wear sportswear

    ReplyDelete
  11. On the off chance that you make next to zero such ventures, your health will rely upon possibility, hereditary qualities, the maturing procedure and the idealness of the nature of clinical consideration you get. what is this

    ReplyDelete
  12. If you are looking for more information about flat rate locksmith Las Vegas check that right away. marriage counselling

    ReplyDelete
  13. With the advent of the Nintendo Wii Fitness line of games, many couch potato gamers are finally becoming active without even realizing it. But Which Wii Fitness Game Will Deliver a Serious Workout? vertical jump system quber.org

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you because you have been willing to share information with us. we will always appreciate all you have done here because I know you are very concerned with our. Can You do Kettlebell Exercises with Dumbbells?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank you because you have been willing to share information with us. we will always appreciate all you have done here because I know you are very concerned with our. weight loss vegan

    ReplyDelete
  16. Improve! Get better in some way. You may not always be able to do what you did as a young person but there are ways where you can become even better than you were. NEM ingredient manufacturers And I've seen people who were very sedentary as young people who have steadily improved their physical fitness level as they've aged.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Yes i am totally agreed with this article and i just want say that this article is very nice and very informative article.I will make sure to be reading your blog more. You made a good point but I can't help but wonder, what about the other side? !!!!!!Thanks massage Key Biscayne

    ReplyDelete
  18. Achetez des stéroïdes naturels pour sculpter votre corps, bruler vos graisses, gagner du muscle, vous trouverez le complement alimentaire qui vous convient clenbuterol achat

    ReplyDelete
  19. i read a considerable measure of stuff and i found that the method for composing to clearifing that precisely need to say was great so i am inspired and ilike to come back again in future.. pelvic floor muscles female

    ReplyDelete
  20. Thanks a lot for this specific advice I has been seeking all Google in order to come across it! 먹튀검증

    ReplyDelete
  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  22. herbal supplementation is the best because i love organic supplements and herbal is organic,. 토토사이트

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hey, nice post, really well written. You should write more about this. [Reply] 청주출장안마
    =====================================================
    Thank you for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do some research on this. We got a grab a book from our area library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I’m very glad to see such excellent information being shared freely out there. 먹튀검증,안전놀이터

    ReplyDelete
  24. I discovered your blog post web site on the search engines and appearance several of your early posts. Always maintain the top notch operate. I additional the Feed to my MSN News Reader. Seeking forward to reading much more on your part down the line!… 메이저사이트

    ReplyDelete
  25. I have been checking out a few of your stories and i can state pretty good stuff. I will definitely bookmark your blog https://europa-road.eu/hu/gepszallitas-debrecen.php

    ReplyDelete
  26. I found your this post while searching for information about blog-related research ... It's a good post .. keep posting and updating information. buy pounds of weed online

    ReplyDelete
  27. Your blog provided us with valuable information to work with. Each & every tips of your post are awesome. Thanks a lot for sharing. Keep blogging.. satta king online

    ReplyDelete
  28. I have been checking out a few of your stories and i can state pretty good stuff. I will definitely bookmark your blog link building

    ReplyDelete
  29. That is really nice to hear. thank you for the update and good luck. free instagram analytics tool

    ReplyDelete
  30. You'll additionally undergo testimonials that regular customers at the fitness center would possibly have written, thus that you get a transient plan regarding the fitness center and its services. Luciana

    ReplyDelete
  31. Superbly written article, if only all bloggers offered the same content as you, the internet would be a far better place.. satta king online

    ReplyDelete
  32. Very useful post. This is my first time i visit here. I found so many interesting stuff in your blog especially its discussion. Really its great article. Keep it up. http://ameelity.com.ua/

    ReplyDelete
  33. I’m going to read this. I’ll be sure to come back. thanks for sharing. and also This article gives the light in which we can observe the reality. this is very nice one and gives indepth information. thanks for this nice article... Fitness BF Deals 2020

    ReplyDelete
  34. Wow, cool post. I'd like to write like this too - taking time and real hard work to make a great article... but I put things off too much and never seem to get started. Thanks though. https://fitnessbfdeals.com

    ReplyDelete
  35. However, as technology advances, so as the invention of machines whose purpose is to provide a one-of-a-kind experience for the consumers. bowflex climber

    ReplyDelete
  36. Well, this has been a hotly debated topic for years. Different people will give different advice. But http://facebookhitlist.com/profiles/blogs/gute-fu-balltipps?xg_source=activity&xg_raw_resources=1 one thing is definite - regular exercise is the best strategy. How long should you exercise? Well, 30 minutes a day would be more than enough.

    ReplyDelete