Local Women’s Club Weekly Nightclub Series Enjoys Successful Spring 2016 Debut

By Ingomar Schoenborn, Quilt staff

DATELINE: JORDAN AVENUE

A good time was had by all who were in attendance at the Canoga Park First Wednesday of the Month Women’s Club last night for the season premiere of its popular nightclub series, held at their headquarters in a residential area of town at the corner of Jordan and Valerio streets.

Headquarters of the Canoga Park First Wednesday of the Month Women's Club, the epicenter
of the normally quiet neighborhood's bone-rattling, anything-goes, no-holds-barred weekend
nightclub activity—or "Club Epicenter" as those living in its midst have dubbed it. File photo.

The weekly affairs, featuring various DJs, bands and guests, and celebrating a wide-range of events, everything from wedding receptions to more wedding receptions, are known collectively under the umbrella title “F.U.C.K. the Neighborhood,” an admittedly awkward acronym, standing for ‘Fellowship Unifies Community and Komplements [the Neighborhood].’

“We don’t dwell on our fudging the spelling of ‘complements,’” notes Women’s Club President in Charge of Neighborhood Cacophony Doreen Farber. “Most of the people who rent our facilities and attend the events aren’t all that literate anyway. The important thing is they pay us the money. Money, money, money.

“Money, money, money,” she continues. “...Money, money, money, money, money.”

A flyer for Saturday night's lively event.  Image: F.U.C.K. the Neighborhood Productions, Inc.

Rental fees for the use of the facilities account for 98.3% of the club’s annual income. (Hand-weaved red and green yarn pot holders sold during the annual Christmas Bazaar make up the remaining 1.7% of monies collected by the once-relevant service club with a dwindling membership.)

“OH, YES, THEY HAD QUITE A PARTY OVER THERE,” hollers neighbor Ted Pasternak as he walks around his house, straightening pictures on the walls jostled askew by the intense vibrations of the music from the night before. “I’M SORRY, AM I YELLING? STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN MY HEARING BACK YET.”