DATELINE: FARRALONE AVENUE
Unexplained dark circular patterns have been appearing on streets and parking lots in Canoga Park and surrounding areas, according to local residents. The mysterious circles, which range in diameter roughly from eight to twenty-five feet, were considered a rare anomaly until recently, and have begun materializing with increasing frequency in the West Valley over the past few months.
“Yeah, these here just appeared overnight,” says Merl Zygmont of Nita Avenue, pointing to a series of overlapping circles at the intersection of Sherman Way and Farralone Avenue in Canoga Park’s tightly-knit Shermalone district. “I know they weren’t there on Saturday afternoon when I was coming home from 7-11 after buying my lottery ticket.
|Mysterious pavement circles at Sherman Way and Farralone. Photo courtesy of Merl Zygmont.|
“But on Sunday morning, when I was heading back over to 7-11 to check my lottery ticket, there they were, large as life. It’s kind of spooky.”
|A large, multi-ringed pattern on DeSoto Avenue on the Winnetka border. Staff photo.|
|Dr. Morris Detzer|
Photo: Mimi Detzer
“When the science community doesn’t have a ready answer, you look beyond known science,” Detzer explains. “We’ve got a few hypotheses about the circles and they all point in one direction — up.
“Clearly they’re left by flying saucers from outer space.”
Recent calls to the “Open Lines” segment of popular late night radio program Coast to Coast with George Noory indicate Detzer's theory is already shared by others and gaining traction.
“Those circles — they’re the work of UFOs. It’s them grays, I know it,” insisted one caller who identified herself as “Berta from near Lanark Park.” She continued that “it all ties in with Obama being the goddamn antichrist” and then added something about Del Taco’s attempts to up-sell customers to a larger sized meal before becoming completely incoherent, forcing Noory to dump the call and quickly launch into an impromptu C. Crane radio spot.
|The rings have even appeared in "exclusive" West Hills, here at Platt & Ingomar. Staff photo.|
"Nothing grows there. Not a blade of grass, not the tiniest weed, nothing. These circles are completely barren of plant life. It's uncanny," says the noted professor of crypto-asphaltology.
And the fact that no one has come forward saying they’ve witnessed the creation of any of the so-called “pavement circles” firsthand further lends credence to his extraterrestrial theory, Dr. Detzer says.
“Actually, who we’re hearing from are earwitnesses to the eyewitnesses,” the professor continues. “Let me explain: I’ve had dozens of calls from people who report hearing automotive tires loudly screeching in the exact locations these circles are noticed the following morning.
|This pavement circle, observed in Chatsworth on Canoga Avenue was graded 8.5 on the Balyan scale, a|
gauge used to determine size, circularity, intensity and other criteria of the mysterious rings. Staff photo.
"I don’t know what this is all about, but believe me, it’s big. Big.”
|Multiple, overlapping pavement circles are visible in a Canoga Park shopping center. Staff photo.|
“Sure wish the police could do something about those street racers, but I realize they've got their hands full with this UFO thing.”
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