Today we launch an exciting new feature in the Canoga Park Quilt - The Junior News Possum Reporters Club. It's important for kids to take an active interest in their world around them, and for Canoga Park children, that world around them is Canoga Park (and occasionally Winnetka, when the entire family heads out to dinner after the Burger King coupons come in the mail). Here at the Quilt we encourage all kids to be curious about the world around them, and not be afraid to ask questions - unless some union goons start threatening them, which is why half of the stories filed by Quilt reporters never see print.
Oh, look, we've already got the first two letters. Well then, let's get started, hmm? --Owen Smouth, editor-in-chief, Canoga Park Quilt (and "president" of the Canoga Park Quilt Junior News Possum Reporters Club).
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FIRST PRIZE: $3 WORTH OF UNBROKEN EGGS FROM SUPER DOLLAR
REPORTER: SUSANA GUSMÃO, VALERIO STREET
Dear Junior News Possums Reporters Club:
An important job that benefits all man kind is selling cases for your cell phone at the Topanga Mall. Today many people have cell phones today but they do not come with a case but you can get a case at the mall there is a lady she is my aunt and she sells cases for your phone there. She has a shop but it is not a shop like you and I no, it is called a keyoss. Sometimes if she has to go to the bathroom she asks the man who sells sunglasses at the keyoss next door to watch her keyoss but Mr. Barsamian who is her boss does not like it if she leaves her keoyss. Cellphone cases come in many varities and colors. Some even have dimonds on them (NOT real of corse!!!!) One time I saw one shaped like hello kitty!!!!! Selling cases for your cell phone is an important job for todays society that also benefits society. Maybe someday I will work at the keyoss like Aunt Milka. By Susana Gusmão.
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SECOND PRIZE: 50¢ TO BLOW ON THOSE GUMBALL MACHINES INSIDE T-MART
REPORTER: RODEL NGUYEN, SCHOOLCRAFT STREET
Dear Junior News Possums Reporters Club, I am going to tell you about a importint thing: it is called Third Thursday and it happens every week on Thursday in the summer once a month on the third thursday of the month and it happens three times: and that is in June and July and August. On Third thursdays what happens is: they close the street so cars can’t drive there and people sell their drawings of Marylin Monroe and there is a bounce house you can go in on the corner. Also you can buy a grill cheese sanwich from a big yellow truck even though daddy said: for that price I can make ten grill cheese sanwiches at home jesus christ eight dollars never again. I love third thursday and i can’t wait until the next time it happins!!! Love: Rodel
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Kids! Do you want to be a Junior News Possum? You bet you would! And how'd you like to have your own Junior News Possum Reporters Club membership card? Gee, don't that sound swell! If you'd like to be a member of the Junior News Possum Reporters Club and become an official Junior News Possum Reporters Club cub reporter, send 25¢ in coin (no Cash For Gold business cards found on the sidewalk, please) to CanogaParkQuilt@gmail.com. You will receive your official membership card, a four-color pen, a pin-back button, a large packet of canceled triangle stamps from Mongolia (on approval), this month's Listener's Selection on your choice of MP3, LP, or 8-track tape format plus various offers and discounts through our myriad of advertising partners and unvetted third-party affiliates. Oh boy!